Forever??

My grandfather used to say “Never make a permanent decision based on a temporary problem.”

It was a solemn moment after the funeral of a high school friend that left me wondering…why?  Why would a young man in the beginning of his manhood want to take his own life?  What could have been so bad that he lost all hope for any possibilities in his future?  It was again one of those times, sitting with my grandfather on the tailgate of an old rugged pickup truck, where I poured out my confusion, frustrations and fears in a 90 minute rant.  My grandfather gracefully played his role of master listener, and then righted my tumultuous world with this simple statement.

Although the situation for the original application was much more extreme in result, the statement holds true with so many of the tribulations we endure throughout our lives.  When you are in the midst of one of those times were nothing is going your way, it can be easy to surrender to your despair.  But if you allow your frustrations to feed on selfish thoughts, catastrophe is only moments away.  The cliché that comes to mind is one used to describe many who make poor permanent decisions; its that they were on a “slippery slope.”

It brings to mind God’s words to Cain in Gen 4:7 “…Why has your countenance fallen?  If you do well, will you not be accepted?  And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door and its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.” (KJV) What is he saying to us?  He is talking about our attitude and the outlook that we have on hope in the center of our challenges.  In that moment God gives a simple but profound warning to Cain that he should be careful of how he responds to failure…one scripture before Cain murders his brother Abel over a temporary disagreement.

My Post “The Ratio of Life” (Click here to read) from April of 2010 is worth a quick read, as it elaborates on this very subject.  What is it that’s challenging you right now?  Is your marriage a little rocky and you’re thinking about divorce?  Maybe you are a teen and thinking of giving in to peer pressure in reference to alcohol, drugs or sex.  Or maybe you are thinking of quitting your job, giving up on finding a good mate or think that God doesn’t care about your financial troubles?  Whatever life trial you may face, now or later,  be careful that you don’t make decisions with permanent consequences because of temporary problems.  Success and victory are often just beyond the moment you give up…so don’t give up!  My prayer for you is that when life tries to push you down a slippery slope, you grab on to the rope of hope and climb back on top.  Trouble may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning.  Be Blessed.

“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.  ~Jesus Christ 

John 16:33  (KJV)

"Do Over!"

My Grandfather used to say: “Recognize and never waste a second chance”

Have you ever blown it?  You know, those times when you thought that you made the right decision only to find that things didn’t go quite the way that you had planned.  Or maybe you made a plan for accomplishment and just didn't follow through.  I have.  I know firsthand the disappointment of a wasted opportunity.  My grandfather’s quote, however, casts an anticipatory light on opportunities that we often overlook or squander… second chances.

In basketball, there is a statistic tracked called “second chance points”.  They occur when a team misses a scoring shot, but gets their own offensive rebound, retries, and scores.  I can even remember playing football in the street as a kid, and when a play was interrupted by an oncoming car, we yelled “do over!” giving us a second chance to run our play.  Here is the thought; in many situations a second chance is available, but far too often it isn’t utilized, because it isn’t recognized.  Whether it is an opportunity to lose those extra pounds, quit smoking or say the right thing – this time, second chances are obtainable, if we acknowledge them and take advantage of the opportunity they provide.

In my post “Well…What Do You Know?” from March 2010, we evaluated the differences between life lessons and mistakes.  This post evolves that line of thought, and hopefully evokes a pensive evaluation of your future plans.  On the crested wave of our New Year’s celebrations, I want to cast a unique light on an age old tradition - the New Year’s Resolution.  Have you made any New Year’s Resolutions?  Are there any that were the same last year?  Are there any that will directly affect anyone other than you?  What are these “resolutions"…really?

Resolutions are commitments to implement a solution to a personal challenge.  Resolve…that’s an interesting word.  At a simplistic glance it is an opportunity to “re-solve” challenges that we maybe didn’t get right previously.  My prayer for you is that you take 2011 as an opportunity to apply some re-solutions to the challenges in your life that really matter.  To take situations where you might have dropped the proverbial ball, you pick it up and yell “do over!” then go make a difference in your life or the life of someone you care about.  God’s grace fills our lives with second chances, seek them out and make the best of every opportunity.  Be Blessed

"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."
~ II Corinthians 5:17 (KJV) 

Emancipation by Forgiveness

My grandfather used to say “Remember that forgiveness is not for the offender, it is for the offended.”

For many, forgiveness is a tender subject.  Why? Well, to begin a discussion about forgiveness, it will inevitably resurface feelings associated with someone’s offense.  Whether you are the offender or the offended, forgiveness is the key that will unlock the cell and loose the emotional chains that unforgiveness uses to bind you.  Let’s face it, at some point everyone will need forgiveness, because none of us are perfect.  The challenge arises when we forget that, with God, forgiveness is not merely recommended, but required, and the measure that you give to others is what will be given to you.  When you learn to truly forgive, you realize you freed a prisoner, only to find that the prisoner was...you.

My grandfather’s statement is a consummate reminder that once we understand the power in forgiveness, we can learn to master our enemies, our circumstances and ourselves.  I once asked my grandfather “what does it mean to forgive someone?”  His reply is still the basis for my definition of forgiveness to this day.  He said “when you allow God to avenge the wrong someone did in His time and in His way, you have forgiven them.”  It was amazing to me that he didn’t say that you forget what happened or that the hurt feelings go away or that you allow the person to regain a position in your life.  It is about releasing the need to be somehow a part of their revenge.  Whether you desire is to be the catalyst, facilitator or the audience to the retaliation for what someone did, that jealousy for revenge is what keeps you bound to the offense.  If you are bound then you are controlled and if you are controlled, that means something has power over you. 

So is there anything mastering you?  If so, how long are you going to allow that person or event to have control?  When you harbor unforgiveness – sure, you may move on, but you don’t have control, the feelings are merely suppressed.  It is not realized until you have to again face memory of the offense.  God knows this concept all too well and I am convinced that it is why he tells us through Paul in Romans 12:19 that “…vengeance is mine, I will repay says the Lord…”  Forgiveness is so important to God that He requires that we forgive others so that He can forgive us and as mentioned earlier, at some point, we will all need forgiveness.

Considering these words, I strain to understand why anyone would not want to be free from the captivity of unforgiveness.  Maybe they think that it is a sign of weakness or maybe they don’t want to face it and hope the painful feelings just go away.  Truthfully, it takes courage, maturity and strength to forgive.  Mahatma Ghandi once said “the weak can’t forgive; forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.”  Listen, no one is saying that forgiving is easy, on the contrary it is difficult many times, but there is truth in the old saying “either forgive it or relive it.”  My prayer for you is that you grasp the power of forgiveness and when needed you have the strength to use it to break the chains that bind.  Forgive your friends, forgive your enemies and don't forget to…forgive yourself.  Be Blessed.