Forever??

My grandfather used to say “Never make a permanent decision based on a temporary problem.”

It was a solemn moment after the funeral of a high school friend that left me wondering…why?  Why would a young man in the beginning of his manhood want to take his own life?  What could have been so bad that he lost all hope for any possibilities in his future?  It was again one of those times, sitting with my grandfather on the tailgate of an old rugged pickup truck, where I poured out my confusion, frustrations and fears in a 90 minute rant.  My grandfather gracefully played his role of master listener, and then righted my tumultuous world with this simple statement.

Although the situation for the original application was much more extreme in result, the statement holds true with so many of the tribulations we endure throughout our lives.  When you are in the midst of one of those times were nothing is going your way, it can be easy to surrender to your despair.  But if you allow your frustrations to feed on selfish thoughts, catastrophe is only moments away.  The cliché that comes to mind is one used to describe many who make poor permanent decisions; its that they were on a “slippery slope.”

It brings to mind God’s words to Cain in Gen 4:7 “…Why has your countenance fallen?  If you do well, will you not be accepted?  And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door and its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.” (KJV) What is he saying to us?  He is talking about our attitude and the outlook that we have on hope in the center of our challenges.  In that moment God gives a simple but profound warning to Cain that he should be careful of how he responds to failure…one scripture before Cain murders his brother Abel over a temporary disagreement.

My Post “The Ratio of Life” (Click here to read) from April of 2010 is worth a quick read, as it elaborates on this very subject.  What is it that’s challenging you right now?  Is your marriage a little rocky and you’re thinking about divorce?  Maybe you are a teen and thinking of giving in to peer pressure in reference to alcohol, drugs or sex.  Or maybe you are thinking of quitting your job, giving up on finding a good mate or think that God doesn’t care about your financial troubles?  Whatever life trial you may face, now or later,  be careful that you don’t make decisions with permanent consequences because of temporary problems.  Success and victory are often just beyond the moment you give up…so don’t give up!  My prayer for you is that when life tries to push you down a slippery slope, you grab on to the rope of hope and climb back on top.  Trouble may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning.  Be Blessed.

“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.  ~Jesus Christ 

John 16:33  (KJV)

Stress Relief

My grandfather used to say “You can’t control everything, but you can pray about everything. Do what you can with the challenges of today and for tomorrow…trust God.”

Would you like to relieve some of the stress in your life? Well, pay careful attention to the wisdom in these words and I am confident that, if applied, it will enable you to avoid some of the worry that constantly aims to rob you of your peace. You see, it is not merely the inherent stress associated with life that causes us mental and physical strain, but the pressures created by our own perceptions, conclusions and misunderstandings that lead to the unnecessary and avoidable stress that inhibits our ability to truly enjoy life to its fullest.

A survey conducted by the APA (American Psychological Association) revealed that 1 in every 3 adults experience extreme stress with 15% reaching their “stress high” for up to 15 days out of the month. It goes on to reveal that 48% experience health related issues due to stress and 43% either overeat or eat unhealthy foods due to stress. Those who smoke and drink alcohol - 47% and 17% experienced an increase in their consumption during periods of high stress, respectively.* Here is something that I have come to understand, everyone’s stress is different and affects them in different ways, but a key “first step” to reducing and dealing with your stress more effectively is realizing where your stress comes from and how much of it you can avoid.

It was one of those moments where I was stressing over a few different things when my grandfather offered this life line of wisdom, and as usual, the lesson has helped me to evade unnecessary stress in my life over the years when I apply it in the face of potential pressure. The opportunities to worry are endless; a money issue, work pressures, family and relationship challenges, the list goes on and on. The real question is how much of it can you really control? In the book of Matthew (verses 25 – 34), Jesus personally reminds us that basically, you can’t change a thing by worrying about it. We can only see life in the moment we are in, God sees what has happened, what is happening, and more importantly, what will happen. So the better question is do you trust God with your future?

What my grandfather wanted to convey with this quote was the need for me to understand that God is in control, whether I believe it or not, in fact he would often shorten the quote to just two words…”Trust God”. Much like my post “Dance Lessons” sometimes God allows challenges in our life to bring us closer to him. My post “The Ratio of Life“, reminds us that life is only 10% what happens but 90% what you do about it. The stresses and storms are inevitable, but it is how you handle them that will determine how heavy and how long you experience them. Head over to the archives and check them out, it may only take you five minutes. My prayer for you is that you begin to grasp tightly to this life line of wisdom when the tide of life’s pressure rises. Put your worries and trust in God’s hands, so that after the storm has passed you see that you still stand on a rock of hope in Him. No one said it would be easy, but I can attest that it works. Be Blessed.

*Resource - Hitti, M. (2007, October) Web MD: "1 in 3 Adults Feel Extreme Stress" Retrieved from http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/news/20071025/1-in-3-adults-feel-extreme-stress?src=RSS_PUBLIC

The Ratio of Life

My grandfather used to say “life is only 10% what happens to you, but 90% what you do about it.”

Within these words can be found the secret to progress, the power in action and a hope for tomorrow. Although I am sure my grandfather was not the only person to say these particular words, he introduced me to the truth in this statement at an unforgettable time and place in my life that charted the course for how I would handle and learn to overcome the ever present opportunity for failure in my life. You see, this quote neither justifies nor denies the challenges, disappointments and tragedies that life brings, but it encourages you to pay critical attention to where you focus your energy, effort and faith when these trials of life transpire.

This entry is a deeper dive into a subject of paramount importance started in the entry “Dance Lessons”, posted back in January of this year. The enormity of its importance comes from the fact that this issue touches everyone no matter who you are, what you have, or what you believe. Everyone falls victim to challenges, tragedies and events of detriment on various levels in life. However, your ability to not only recover, but to reclaim your victory and continue to progress hinges on what you do with your energy, focus and where you place your hope.

What was your latest disappointment? What has happened to you recently or in your past that still resurfaces when your current conversations take a negative turn? Here is the more important question…are you investing your time in securing a solution or are you wasting your time focused on the problem? One thing is for certain, you can’t change the past – you can learn from it – but nothing changes what happened, so why spend your time and effort complaining about something you cannot change? The wise investment is to spend your time, energy and faith is securing a solution, learning the lesson or progressing past the thing that happened. Now many times that’s easier said than done, I know, but think of it this way…after you expend time and emotion complaining, being depressed or angry, or using some vice to suppress the issue, you still have to face it and find a way to learn and move on from it. The philosophy in this statement is to bypass the wasted effort and energy and instead use you’re the “90%” of time and focus efficiently by working toward the solution and your victory.

When it comes to life, you are either moving forward or moving backward. There is never a time where you are just sitting still, because in those moments immobility you are losing the most important of life’s limited and irreplaceable resources…time. My prayer for you is that you take a moment to evaluate, either now or when the next difficult event of life occurs, whether you are investing or wasting your time. Something I have learned in life is that the enemy of our faith uses the failures and negativity of your past to bind you, discourage you and try to destroy your hope. God in His great grace uses His promises and the hope in your future to encourage you to move in the direction of freedom and victory. What you do with your decisions, time and energy supports one of these two initiatives…I pray that you choose your alliances wisely, your future depends on it. Be Blessed!