Search by Keyword Here

Monday, February 15, 2010

Never "Fall" In Love

My Grandfather used to say “I hope you never fall in love, but I pray that you learn to walk in it.”

On the heels of Valentine’s Day, I wanted to share this true pearl of wisdom as we consider this time of love and relationships, because the truth at the core of this statement goes far beyond the mere simplicity of the words. Anytime I have ever repeated this to anyone, they usually have the same initial reaction…nothing…for a moment they pause to drink in the paradox in the statement and consider the gravity of the rationale.

My grandfather’s quote was his genuine way of encouraging me to learn two things; one was how to guard and protect my heart and the other was how to deliberately share it with reckless abandon. Confusing? Let me break this down this way for you…have you ever fallen? You know, tripped over that invisible thing on the floor or slipped on an icy walkway? Maybe the fall was caused by something more sinister, like a push or being knocked off balance by something; let me ask you, right then in that moment - how did you feel? Most people would say, that is a feeling that they never want to experience again, it’s a terrifying rush of adrenaline because there is no control and the potential outcome is pain of some sort.

New relationships can be much the same, sure there is a level of exhilaration and rush of emotion that masquerades itself as love, but is often little more than emotion and if you "fall" into it without carefully considering the costs it may not be just your pride or a bone that is damaged. You see, just like any other fall things may be broken like maybe your heart, your spirit or self-esteem, and it takes more than a little ice to heal and relieve that kind of pain. On the other hand, when you walk with deliberate steps, especially with someone who cares as much for your safety as you do theirs, you can navigate the most difficult of circumstances and share our most prized possessions like love with joy, freedom and confidence.

What I’ve learned is that the first step to really understanding this quote is to learn the definition of true love. Many think that love is a strong affection or deep longing and desire for someone, but there are words to describe those feelings like infatuation, passion, or often lust. However to define love you must first understand what love is; it is a decision, not merely any decision, it is an unselfish decision to put the person you love before yourself. Now that statement alone is another blog within itself, but when you consider the level of commitment that true love requires, it is easy to see the dangers of “falling” into it without care and why so many are hurt by the fall. Walking in love transcends more than just a physical relationship, it builds a foundation of stability that weathers life’s storms and emotion's inconsistency, so my prayer is the same for you, make it a point to walk and not fall, with those you choose to love. Be Blessed.


  1. You are the best husband in the world....

  2. Love it! You see Thomas, as I read your posts it causes me to ponder, to think about things in a way I perhaps had not before. You give a great perspective to things (you and Grandpa). Thank you for sharing. I can't wait for the next post.

    By the way....I love the photo, looks like two people "Walking in Love" (wink)

  3. OMG!! Daddy i <3 the photo!! Good Job!! i look 4ward 2 the next wisdomful? (is that a word?) blog!! love ya!

  4. Well said & well written, and extremely true. I can say for myself that like most humans, I have been less careful with my physical body in the growth of my youth but guard my heart and spirit as the Sphinx stands guard over the Great Pyramids of Egypt. In that understanding, letting someone get close to you is like venturing into the great unknown and you must watch your step no matter where you walk!

  5. As I was reading, I was thinking this sounds like the difference between eros love and agape love. A true marriage/relationship can only thrive and last with agape love.
    Very insightful Thomas....


Please click here to leave a comment