My grandfather used to say, “Sometimes you just have to give it time to heal.”
This tidbit of wisdom is often shared by the older generation because they have the diploma of wisdom that only comes from life’s institution of learning. Similar to the post “A word to the unwise” from earlier in April, this simple statement reminds us that some lessons in life can only be learned through experience, or the wisdom gained by attention paid to the struggles of others. However, it takes the concept a step further to help us understand how to deal with, not only the pain of life's hurts, but the wounds and scars they cause.
A very important thing to remember is that, like physical pain and scars, emotional pain and scars tend to follow much of the same process to heal. As a man, I often have the tendency to try and speed the process along or try to “fix it”, without truly comprehending that sometimes you have to just…let it heal. We teach kids not to pick at the scabs that cover their wounds, because we know that underneath that shell - healing is taking place - and if you disturb the natural process, you will impede the healing, and potentially create a worse scar. The wisdom in this statement isn’t just for those who get wounded, but those who cause the wounds as well. Even with the best of intentions, you can do more harm than help, if you do not allow adequate time to heal. The cycle is often perpetuated because we know that hurt people…hurt people.
I penned a poem a few years ago as I dealt with this very issue, I want to share it with you in the hopes that you understand the complex simplicity of my grandfather’s words and apply the lesson as opportunities arise in your life. Be Blessed.
Under a callous, impervious and unsightly shell, the healing takes place.
Like a band aide, created out of pain and irritation, shielding our injury from infection.
At times an unattractive exhibit is the environment of restoration and repair.
A protective covering which requires solitude and tranquility to perform its work.
In the back of my mind I can hear my mother say “just leave it alone.”
Referring to the hideous scab that shelters my irritating wound.
You have to let it remove itself in its own good time, when the healing is done.
Profound wisdom applicable to the many wounds we encounter in life.
Not only the harm that is inflicted to us, but the damage we inflict to others as well.
In any case the process for restoration is the same…slow and delicate.
Time and peace are often healers of the body and the soul.
It’s our own impatience that prevents us from permitting the necessary time to heal."
Usually it is that same impatience that caused us to hurt in the first place.
Why do we attack our own shields, damaging the very device we have put in place
to guard against anything that would impair our ability to regenerate and renew.
If we don’t understand or regard the consequence of an ignorant success,
we will expose our vulnerabilities and impede the progression of recovery.
The absence of wisdom can be the birthplace of scars.
The graffiti of life, vandalism committed by the results of our bad decisions,
it’s our failure to let the wound heal, or our own series of unfortunate events.
When do we learn the lesson, an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure?
We should engage in proactive preventive maintenance, versus reactive disaster recovery.
If life’s greatest teacher is experience, then to learn from others’ mistakes is true wisdom.
It’s been said that knowledge is power, but the evidence of life is that only
applied knowledge produces results. Knowledge is not much if no one ever uses it.
Like the ingredients of the grandest dish, time, faith and wisdom work in unison to
create healing and facilitate the therapy that nurses our wounds.
Yet you can only see the whole miracle of rebirth and the power of restoration revealed
When you use the wisdom and patience necessary to let the scab fall away…
Copyright 2005 by William T. Holt